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Showing posts from November, 2010

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Now that you're out of my life, I'm so much better You thought that I'd be weak without you, but I'm stronger You thought that I'd be broke without you, but I'm richer You thought that I'd be sad without you, I laugh harder You thought I wouldn't grow without you, now I'm wiser Though that I'd be helpless without you, but I'm smarter You thought that I'd be stressed without you, but I'm chillin' You thought I wouldn't sell without you, sold nine million I'm a survivor I'm not gon' give up I'm not gon' stop I'm gon' work harder I'm a survivor I'm gonna make it I will survive Keep on survivin' I'm a survivor I'm not gon' give up I'm not gon' stop I'm gon work harder I'm a survivor I'm gonna make it I will survive Keep on survivin' Thought I couldn't breathe without, I'm inhaling You thought I couldn't see without y

When i am down...........

when i am down and oh my soul so weary...no i aint gonna sing the song!!So many always ask why i always seem excited and excited about life..like am never stressed.So today i give a few tips to looking happy always,even when things are not right.Well for starters i dont get mad at small things,i dont let small things get to me.I only get mad at major things ,the rest i let them pass. Be warned though: i have the tendency to keep a record of wrongs and as those small things keep piling one day ntakulipukia utashangaa!!!hehe when i find myself in shit sorry in situations i never anticipated unlike most people who panic i relax and think of a way out. theres no need panicking ati ooh what will i do now my life is over blabla relax and think if possible pray and God(yeah i believe in Him and we are very tight infact) will send an Angel to Help. In life i always look for the funny side of everything. This has led some to label me a joker..which is not a bad title depending on how you l

APPLICATION FOR PERMISSION TO DATE MY DAUGHTER

NOTE: This application will be considered incomplete and will be rejected unless accompanied by a complete financial statement, job history, family lineage, and current medical report from your doctor. SECTION A: NAME_____________________________________ DATE OF BIRTH_____________ HEIGHT___________ WEIGHT____________ IQ__________ GPA_____________ PIN NUMBER ______________________ DRIVERS LICENSE No._______________ BOYS SCOUT RANK AND BADGES ___________________________________________ HOME PHYSICAL __________________________ POSTAL ADDRESS__________________ CITY/STATE_______________________ COUNTRY ____________________ZIP_______ Do you have parents? ___Yes ___No Are your parents alive? ___Yes ___No Is one male and the other female? ___Yes ___No If No, explain:___________________________________________________________ How long have your parents been married _______________________ If they have been married for duration less than your age, explain ________

can cold water wash utensils??!

John went to visit his 90 year old grandfather in a very secluded, rural area of Georgia. After spending a great evening chatting the night away, John's grandfather prepared breakfast of bacon, eggs and toast. However, John noticed a film like substance on his plate, and questioned his grandfather asking, "Are these plates clean?" His grandfather replied, "They're as clean as cold water can get them. Just you go ahead and finish your meal, Sonny!" For lunch the old man made hamburgers. Again, John was concerned about the plates as his appeared to have tiny specks around the edge that looked like dried egg and asked, "Are you sure these plates are clean?" Without looking up the old man said, "I told you before, Sonny, those dishes are as clean as cold water can get them. Now don't you fret, I don't want to hear another word about it!" Later that afternoon, John was on his way to a nearby town and as he was leaving, hi

The Germanization of English!(maybe it could be easier if we all spoke this way!)

"The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility." As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English". In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c".. Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f".. This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter. In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible

why female brains are much cheaper!!!!!

In the hospital the relatives gathered in the waiting room, where their family member lay gravely ill. Finally, the doctor came in looking tired and sombre. "I'm afraid I'm the bearer of bad news," he said as he surveyed the worried faces "The only hope left for your loved one at this time is a brain transplant. It's an experimental procedure, very risky but it is the only hope. Insurance will cover the procedure, but you will have to pay for the brain yourselves." The family members sat silently as they absorbed the news. After a great length of time, someone asked, "Well, how much does a brain cost?" The doctor quickly responded, "Ksh5,000 for a male brain, and Ksh200 for a female brain..." The moment turned awkward. Men in the room tried not to smile, avoiding eye contact with the women, but some actually smirked. A man unable to control his curiosity, blurted out the question everyone wanted to ask, "Why is the male