sayosays

Albert Einstein's wife often suggested that he dress more professionally when he headed off to work. "Why should I?" he would invariably argue. "Everyone knows me there." When the time came for Einstein to attend his first major conference, she begged him to dress up a bit. "Why should I?" said Einstein. "No one knows me there!" ============ ========= ========= ========= ========= Albert Einstein was often asked to explain the general theory of relativity. "Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour," he once declared. "Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. That's relativity!" ============ ========= ========= ========= ========= When Albert Einstein was working in Princeton university, one day he was going back home he forgot his home address. The driver of the cab did not recognize him. Einstein asked the driver if he knows Einstein's home. The dr

Men Are Just Happier People -- What do you expect from such simple creatures? Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack. You can be President. You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park. Car mechanics tell you the truth. The world is your urinal. You never have to drive to another Petrol station because this one is just too icky. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Same work, more pay. Wrinkles add character. People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. One mood all the time. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about tanks. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. You can open all your own jars. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If som

Dear Alcohol we need to talk, I thought I'd take a minute to discuss some troubling factors with you. First and foremost, let me tell you that I am a huge fan of yours. Yes, my friend you always seem to be there when needed: Hidden inside chocolates you warm us up when we are stuck in the midst of endless family gathering. Yet lately, I've been wondering about your intentions. You see, I want to believe that you have my best interest at heart but I feel that your influence has led me to unwise consequences, briefed below for your review: 1. Phone calls: While I agree that communication is important, I question the fact that any conversation of substance could occur at 3am in the morning. Why would you make me call my ex boyfriends/girlfriends when I know for a fact they do not want to hear from me? 2. Eating: Now you know I love a good meal and though cooking is not my speciality, why do you suggest that I eat grilled steak with chilli sauce, 2 minute noodles, stale ch

I wish you healthy, wealthy, safe & sound, pleasant prosperous New Year. My best wishes for 2012 for you, your family and friends. May this New Year all your dreams turn into reality and all your efforts into great achievements. Hours of happy times with friends and family Abundant time for relaxation Prosperity Plenty of love when you need it the most Youthful excitement at lifes simple pleasures Nights of restful slumber (dont’ worry be happy) Everything you need Wishing you love and light Years and years of good health Enjoyment and mirth Angels to watch over you Remembrances of a happy years. & Each moment in a day has its own value. Morning brings HOPE, Afternoon brings FAITH, Evening brings LOVE, Night brings REST, Hope you will have all of them every day.