sayosays

The top Marketing Director of Nescafe manages to arrange a meeting with the Pope at the Vatican. After receiving the Papal blessing, the Nescafe official whispers, 'Your Eminence, I have some business to discuss. We at Nescafe have an offer for you. Nescafe is prepared to donate $100 million to the church. If you change the Lord's Prayer from 'give us this day our daily bread' to 'give us this day our daily coffee' The Pope looks outraged and thunders, "That is impossible. The Prayer is the word of the Lord, It must not be changed. " Well," says the Nescafe man somewhat chastened, "We anticipated your reluctance. For this reason, and the importance of the Lord's Pr

MEN: 1. Most men are extremely busy. 2. Although they are so busy, they still have time for women. 3. Although they have time for women, they don't really care for them. 4. Although they don't really care for them, they always have one around. 5. Although they always have one around them, they always try their luck with others. WOMEN: 1. The most important thing for most women is financial security. 2. Although this is so important, they still go out and buy expensive clothes and stuff. 3. Although they always buy expensive clothes, they never have something to wear. 4. Although they never have something to wear, they always dress beautifully. 5. Although they always dress beautifully, their clothes are always just "an old rag". 6. Although their clothes are alwa

Wife and Girlfriend Wife is like a TV, Girlfriend is like a MOBILE. At home u watch TV, But when u go out u take ur MOBILE. No money, u sell the TV, Got money u change ur MOBILE. Sometimes u enjoy TV, But most of the time u play with ur MOBILE. TV is free for life, But for the MOBILE, if you don't pay, the services will be terminated. TV is big, bulky and most of the time old, But the MOBILE is cute, slim, curvy and very portable. Operational costs for TV is often acceptable, But for the MOBILE it is often high and demanding. TV has a remote, MOBILE doesn't. Most importantly, MOBILE is a two-way communication (u talk and listen), But with the TV you MUST only listen (whether you want to or not). Last but not least .. TVs don't have viruses, But MOBILEs often do!

A  lion woke up one morning feeling really rowdy and mean. He went out and cornered a small monkey and roared, "W ho is mightiest of all jungle animals?" The trembling monkey says, "You are, mighty lion." Later, the lion confronts a ox and fiercely bellows, "Who is the mightiest of all jungle animals?"

Our Birth is our Opening Balance Our Death is our Closing Balance Our Prejudiced Views are our Liabilities Our Creative Ideas are our Assets

A three-year-old walked up to a pregnant lady while waiting with his mother in the doctors office. He inquisitively asked the lady, "Why is your stomach so big?" She replied, "I'm having a baby." With big eyes, he asked, "Is the baby in your stomach?" She answered, "He sure is." Then the little boy, with a puzzled look, asked, "Is it a good baby?" She said, "Oh, yes. It's a real good baby." With an even more surprised and shocked look, he asked, "Then why did you eat him?!!!!"

A man was SICK and TIRED of going to work every day while his wife stayed home. And further jealous of her, as she received lot of Women's Day wishes and compliments He wanted her to see what he went through so he prayed: "Dear Lord: I go to work every day and put in 8 hours while my wife merely stays at home. I want her to know what I go through . So, please allow her body to switch with mine for a day. Amen!" Poof!!! God, in his infinite wisdom, granted the man's wish. The next morning, sure enough, the man awoke as a woman . He arose,

    A little boy went to a Telephone booth which was at the cash counter of a store & dialed a number. The store-Owner observed and listened to the  Conversation: Boy: "Lady, Can you give me the job of cutting your lawn? Woman: (at the other end of the phone line) "I  already have someone to cut my lawn." Boy: "Lady, I will cut your lawn for half the price than   the person who cuts your lawn now." Woman: I'm very satisfied with the person who is  presently cutting my lawn. Boy: (with more perseverance) "Lady, I'll even sweep the floor & the stairs of your house for free. Woman: No, thank you.  With a smile on his face, the little  boy end call with thank you.  The Store-owner, who was listening to all this,  walked over to the boy.  Store Owner: "Son...I like your attitude; I like that positive spirit & would like to offer you a job." Boy: "No thanks, Store Owner:  But you were really